Most games today are safe to play with colleagues and family, however, some games still have that “nope, I don’t want my mom to see me playing this”-feel to them. This is what is usually known as “Not Safe For Work”(NSFW). Although usually this goes for games with lots of sex/nudity, some fighting/gore games can be encountered in this category.
Who doesn’t like a little NSFW-related articles? Therefore I have made a list of 10 games I would never play with my parents. Once again I would like to remind you all that this is a list which features 18+ games, and should probably not be read my minors.
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Conker’s Bad Fur Day
Although no nudity in this game, the character’s foul mouths are a “nightmare” for all parents, and I should probably mention the whole section with a singing poop. Conker’s Bad Fur Day is a platformer video game developed by Rare and released for the Nintendo 64, and relaunched for the Xbox One as a part of “Rare Replay”. As part of the Conker video game series, the game follows the story of Conker the Squirrel, a greedy, heavy-drinking red squirrel who attempts to return home to his girlfriend Berri. The gameplay is composed of various challenges that involve platforming, solving puzzles, fighting enemies, and gathering objects.
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Dead or Alive Xtreme 2
Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 is a video game for the Xbox 360 game console. Developed by Team Ninja, it is the sequel to Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball. The title expands upon the activities available in the original, supplementing beach volleyball with additional beach-related minigames. Oh, and did I mention the butt-bumping competition and the extremely bouncy tits?
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Postal 2
Postal 2 is a black comedy first-person shooter video game by Running With Scissors, and it is the sequel to the 1997 game Postal. Both are intentionally highly controversial due to high levels of violence and stereotyping. Unlike its predecessor, Postal 2 is played completely in first-person. Scenes of the game can be seen in the music video of The Black Eyed Peas single “Where Is the Love?”. Postal 2 is a total “screw you” to subtlety and political correctness.
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South Park: The Stick of Truth
Most of the game is safe to play with family, but you can be unlucky and have your parents walk in on the scene that features dildo’s and the characters’ parents having sex.
South Park: The Stick of Truth is a role-playing video game. Based on the animated television series South Park, the game follows the New Kid, who has moved to the eponymous town and becomes involved in an epic role-play fantasy war involving humans, wizards, and elves, who are fighting for control of the all-powerful Stick of Truth. Their game quickly escalates out of control and brings them into conflict with aliens, Nazi zombies, and gnomes, threatening the entire town with destruction.
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God of War series
No list is complete without the Kratos. And God of War features not only nudity and interactive sex scenes, there’s also violence. And lots of it. God of War is an action-adventure, hack and slash, mythology-based video game series. The series’ story centers around its playable character, Kratos, a Spartan warrior tricked into killing his wife and daughter by his former master, the Greek God of War Ares. Many years after taking his revenge against the Greek gods, Kratos ends up in the world of the Norse gods with a son named Atreus and takes a turn for the good.
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Bayonetta
How to sum up Bayonetta? You’re a sexy witch, with clothes made of your own hair. It doesn’t help that in nearly every fight Bayonetta has some loud moans.
Bayonetta takes place in Vigrid, a fictional city in Europe. The game stars the eponymous character, a witch who is capable of shapeshifting and using various firearms. She also possesses magical attacks, and she can use her hair to summon demons to dispatch her foes. The game features a rating system, which gives players a grade based on their performance, and a combat system that is similar to the Devil May Cry series, also created by Bayonetta creator Hideki Kamiya.
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Manhunt 2
Manhunt 2 is a psychological horror stealth video game published by Rockstar Games. It is the sequel to 2003’s Manhunt. The game follows Daniel Lamb, a mental patient suffering from amnesia as he tries to uncover his identity. He is accompanied by Leo Kasper, a sociopathic assassin who guides Daniel in his journey.
TL;DR – It’s a game all about killing.
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Katawa Shoujo
Katawa Shoujo (which means “disability girls” in Japanese), is what happens when users from 4chan decides to make a visual novel, where most of the time is used to flirt with girls and have sex with them, which is the main reason it doesn’t end up higher on our list. Released by Four Leaf Studios in 2012, Katawa Shoujo has become surprisingly popular across the web. Do not think that the game is just sex though, as the game also focuses on how disabilities doesn’t need to be a limit in people’s lives, and how important friendship is to your character.
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Catherine
Catherine is a puzzle platformer adventure video game developed by Atlus for PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. The story follows Vincent Brooks, a man who is beset by supernatural nightmares while torn between his feelings for longtime girlfriend Katherine and the similarly-named beauty Catherine. The gameplay is divided between daytime hours, where Vincent interacts with the characters, and his dreams where he must navigate three-dimensional tower puzzles. The game’s ending is affected by moral choices made by Vincent over the course of the story.
What would you do if you woke up with an unknown girl in your bed, and your soon-to-be wife is knocking on your door?
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Genital Jousting
Genital Jousting is an online and local multiplayer party game about flaccid penises and wiggly anuses for up to eight players at once. Players control a detached penis complete with testicles and an anus. Multiple game modes provide a stimulating orgy of objectives: penetrate and be penetrated as fast as possible or compete in absurd, silly and sexually suggestive games and challenges.
Basically, Genital Jousting is all about penises with buttholes trying to penetrate each other. Do I even need to say more?
What do you think of our list? Let us know in the comments below!
I think honorable mention should go to “Mount Your Friends”
It must have took a lot of effort to get that description of Katawa Shoujo that wrong.